Two Dante's, Many Worlds
by Insieme per la vittoria
Summary: Dante is attacked by DINO, his reboot counterpart. Dante wins easily, but now the existence of two Dante's has created a paradox, causing the two of them to travel to many worlds, and meet many great fictional characters. Luckily, every one of these characters agrees that DINO sucks. Featuring appearances from Superman, Goku, Yoda, Dumbledore, Gandalf, the Avengers and many others.
1. Dante Meets DINO

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Harry Potter, Marvel Comics, Bayonetta, Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Star Wars.**

Dante stepped out of the Devil May Cry, seeing a stupid looking young man in a plain coat. The man glared at Dante, heading over to him.  
"You! The old Dante! I'm so much cooler than you, and I'm also more powerful!"  
Dante looked at the kid with a mixture of surprise and annoyance.  
"Who the hell are you?"  
"I'm Dante."  
"No you're not. I think I'll call you Donte, or maybe DINO, as in Dante In Name Only. What ya think of that?"

DINO started to get angry, snarling with rage. He charged at Dante, drawing his sword. Dante casually shot the blade of the sword, launching it from DINO's hands. Dante's foot then slammed into DINO's face, and DINO hit the ground hard. Just as Dante was about to finish DINO off, he felt himself sucked from the world, entering a black pocket dimension.  
"Ah, great. Somehow, I know this is that loser's fault!"

Suddenly, the darkness faded, and Dante found himself standing in a different world, in the middle of a large city, under a huge globe that read "Daily Planet."  
Dante turned to see DINO beside him. "You get the hell away from me."  
"We're here together. We should work together to escape."  
"If we run into trouble, I'd be better off alone. You're only useful as a human shield."


	2. DC Comics Universe

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Harry Potter, Marvel Comics, Bayonetta, Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Star Wars.**

Dante and DINO walked through the huge city, which was filled with landmarks, most notable of which was a huge statue of a man in a cape, with a shield emblem on his chest with the letter S on it. The two Dante's had been wandering around the huge city for almost an hour when the man whose statue they had seen flew down from the sky to see them.

"Dante from Devil May Cry. I know you. Batman has been monitoring your world for some time."  
DINO stepped forward. "Well hi. It's good to know someone recognises the real Dante."  
The man in the cape casually shoved DINO back, stepping forward to speak to Dante.  
"I'm Superman. There must be a reason you're in Metropolis City, Dante. What is it?"  
Dante shrugged. "Who knows? I got dragged here cause of this loser."

Superman turned to regard DINO. "This is the other one, right? The fake who thinks he's Dante?"  
Dante nodded. "Yeah. He's a total loser."  
Superman nodded. "Agreed."  
DINO drew his sword. "Oh yeah? You gonna call me a loser? Fuck you! I'll kill you, you fucking fuck!"  
Superman turned to regard Dante. "Does he ever say anything else?"  
Dante shrugged. "Occasionally."

DINO swung his sword at Superman, watching as it filled with cracks on impact with Superman's arm. Superman then flicked DINO, sending him sprawling.  
"That sword was meant to be like yours. Magic. So why didn't it hurt me at all?"  
Dante chuckled. "Because this loser couldn't beat a ninety year old."  
DINO jumped back up. "You fucking fuck! Fuck you, you… you… you… you fucker!"

Superman dashed forward, punching DINO straight up into the sky, watching as DINO skipped across the atmosphere, vanishing from view around the horizon.  
"How did he even survive that? He's so weak, yet he survived that punch. How?"  
"He's the false protagonist. He can't die for real until that stupid ass reboot is burned down and replaced with my series again."

The two heroes looked up as DINO came sailing back around, Superman's punch having sent him all the way around the Earth. They could swear they heard him screaming his favourite word which started with F.

Superman turned back to Dante as DINO once again vanished under the horizon.  
"How does it feel to have him as your replacement? He's ugly, he's stupid, he's weak… How do you resist killing him?"  
Dante shrugged. "Fake protagonist, remember? I tried to kill him three times since we arrived, simply because he wouldn't shut up."

DINO started to come back around again, and Dante turned to Superman. Superman gripped Dante and threw him into the sky, where he punched DINO himself, launching him back down to the ground, where Superman punched him unconscious.

Dante dropped back to the ground. "Good shot."  
Suddenly, everything started to darken again, and Dante realised he was being moved again. He quickly held out his hand to Superman, shaking the Kryptonian's hand.  
"Thanks. I hope we meet again, Superman."

Metropolis City and Superman faded from Dante's view, and he found himself standing in a fairly attractive, but old looking network of buildings. The buildings seemed to be made from shiny glass, and yet they were old fashioned, like medieval style. He looked down when he heard a groan, and groaned himself to see that DINO was still with him, just standing up now.  
"Ah, great. Why couldn't you get lost and Superman stick around?"


	3. Lord of the Rings Universe

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Harry Potter, Marvel Comics, Bayonetta, Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Star Wars.**

Dante looked around the shiny buildings, until he found a man with a long grey beard. The man approached Dante, striking DINO in the face with his staff as he did.  
"Dante. I am Gandalf the Grey. I believe you and I are destined to meet. I think we can help each other."

Gandalf took Dante to the meeting regarding the One Ring, while DINO stood and swore quietly to himself. Dante quickly understood that the ring was dangerous, and needed to be put beyond the reach of a character named Sauron. Finally, Dante stood, moving to the platform the ring stood on.  
"You guys need this thing taken from this world. I might have a way." 

Dante dashed over to DINO, forcing open his mouth and shoving the ring down his throat. DINO punched Dante, but his fist broke, while Dante hardly felt the blow. Dante then tossed DINO into the centre of the meeting, where Gandalf cracked DINO with his staff, a man named Aragorn drew a sword and cracked DINO in the head with the flat of it, an elf named Legolas drew a bow and fired an arrow up each of Dino's nostrils, and a dwarf named Gimli raised an axe, cracking DINO in the head and knocking him unconscious.

Dante saw the world start to become dark again, and knew what was happening.  
"Thanks, guys, and good luck."

As Dante and DINO left the world, along with the ring, Sauron suddenly vanished, his life force having suddenly ceased to exist. With him went the Nazgul and the lands of Mordor, the volcano overflowing. Middle Earth was saved, all because the One Ring was in the most disgusting place imaginable: DINO's filthy mouth.

Dante found himself standing in a large, round, futuristic chamber, surrounded by cushioned chairs of varying size and shape. DINO struggled to his feet beside Dante, only to receive a solid punch to the jaw, which launched him against the nearest wall.  
"I already said keep the hell away from me."


	4. Star Wars Universe

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Harry Potter, Marvel Comics, Bayonetta, Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Star Wars.**

Dante moved over to the shiny silver door, watching as it slid up into the roof.  
"Nice tech."  
Dante went through the open door and out into a large temple, full of people wearing brown robes. A small green creature with pointy ears limped over to Dante.  
"The son of Sparda, correct am I?"  
Dante shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. How do you guys all know me?"

The little creature smiled. "Master Yoda, I am. Know I do of you, because of your mighty achievements."

DINO moved up to Yoda, gripping the little creature by the ear.  
"Fuck off, you little piece of…"  
Yoda made a small gesture, and DINO flew to the other end of the Jedi Temple, bouncing off the wall. Dante and Yoda then faced each other.  
"Sorry about that loser. He knows about three words."

DINO came limping back, readying his sword. He swung his sword at Yoda, but Yoda gripped it with the Force, sending more cracks through the cheap blade. DINO then turned to attack Dante, but Dante casually caught DINO's sword with his hand, sending yet more cracks through it. Dante then smacked DINO into the nearest wall, before turning back to Yoda.

Dante and Yoda stood at the edge of the senate while Chancellor Palpatine spoke.  
Dante sat down so as to talk directly to Yoda.  
"So you don't know who this Darth Sidious is?"  
As Yoda shook his head, DINO came staggering into the senate, swearing and grumbling. Dante widened his eyes in horror when he saw that DINO was not wearing pants.  
"My God, if I was that small, I wouldn't run around drawing attention to it, pal."  
DINO grew angry as the entire senate laughed at Dante's comment, before charging at Dante, drawing his sword. DINO swung his sword at Dante, but Dante kicked DINO straight up into the air.

DINO flew through the air, firing tiny bullets from his poorly manufactured guns. Several of the bullets were on a path to hit Chancellor Palpatine, so the Chancellor pulled out a red lightsaber, blocking the shots, before firing lightning from his fingers all over a now screaming DINO.

Seeing the Chancellor inadvertently reveal himself as Darth Sidious, Dante and Yoda jumped up to the pod the Sith was on. Sidious attacked them both, but both were too strong for him. As he lunged at Yoda, he was forced back with a burst of the Force. He then charged at Dante, only to receive a bullet in the face, Dante's speed far too great to defend against.

DINO started to swear from the bottom of the senate, and Dante stepped casually off the pod, falling a distance that would seriously hurt even Yoda, and landed casually on his feet over a swearing, now completely naked DINO.  
"Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Dante felt himself start to fade to black, and quickly tossed DINO's clothes to him.  
"Put these on, you moron."  
Dante then turned to the distant form of Yoda, waving the Jedi master a respectful farewell, just as the senate vanished from view, and Dante suddenly stood in a desert-like field.  
"Nice place. Bit empty. Not empty enough though…"  
Dante turned to glare at DINO as he said this, wishing he was either alone or with anyone other than this stupid, swearing streaker.


	5. Dragon Ball Z Universe

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Harry Potter, Marvel Comics, Bayonetta, Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Star Wars.**

Dante looked around at the empty field. DINO stood off to the side, smoking, and coughing because he couldn't handle the smoke. The two looked up as a dark haired man in an orange martial arts outfit appeared in the air above them, dropping to the ground.  
"Hey guys, this place isn't the best place to be. You guys want a lift outta here?"  
Dante shook his head.  
"No thanks, dude. We don't exactly live here."

The dark haired man stepped close to Dante, holding out his hand.  
"Hi, I'm Goku."  
Dante shook Goku's hand, telling his own name.

DINO stepped in between them.  
"Why don't you tell us where we are, you ugly sack of shit?"  
Goku's eyes widened, and he seemed genuinely offended.  
Dante gripped DINO by the neck.  
"If Goku's ugly, we're gonna have to find a new word to describe you, ass face."  
DINO punched Dante, swearing, but his fist broke on contact, while Dante didn't feel it.

The three of them turned when a man who looked similar to Goku appeared, only he was shorter, and looked angry.  
"You insult Kakarot, do you? What do you have to say to me, you little insect?"  
DINO swung his sword at Vegeta, but the sword bounced off, yet more cracks running through its dull surface.

Vegeta held up a scouter and examined the two Dante's, genuinely curious about these two beings. Goku, seeming curious, but only half interested, asked,  
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about their power levels?"  
Vegeta lowered the scouter.  
"The white haired, good looking one, Dante, has a very impressive power level. I'm glad he's on our side. I'd rather not fight him."  
Goku nodded, having been expecting this. He could sense that Dante was powerful. Vegeta put the scouter over his eye again, examining DINO. Suddenly, Vegeta started laughing uproariously.  
"The ugly one's power level is_ minus_ nine thousand!"  
In his fit of laughter, Vegeta crushed the scouter in his hand, still howling with laughter, unable to believe that DINO's power level was somehow less than zero.

DINO drew his sword, charging at Vegeta. The sword bounced off the laughing Vegeta several times before Vegeta knew he was being attacked. Vegeta then picked DINO up and flew into space with him, shooting him back down to Earth with a Ki blast. DINO then turned and attacked Goku, so Goku gripped DINO, using Instant Transmission to teleport DINO to the middle of space, and simply letting him go.

Afterwards, Dante, Goku and Vegeta sat at the dinner table, sharing a fit of laughter.  
"I never imagined anyone's power level could actually be in the minus collumn, but somehow his was!" Roared Vegeta.

Deep in space, DINO collided with a supernova.

Back on Earth, Dante watched as things grew dark again. He rapidly shook the hands of Goku and Vegeta, thanking them for their help and company, before fading out of their universe.

Dante then found himself in a city that looked distinctly Japanese. He looked down to see that DINO sat next to him.  
"You're never gonna leave me alone, are you?"


	6. Bleach Universe

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Harry Potter, Marvel Comics, Bayonetta, Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Star Wars.**

Dante stood in the place he strongly suspected was Japan, resisting the temptation to punch DINO simply because he was there. He looked up as a young girl with dark hair joined them.  
"You have power, and I can sense it. My name is Rukia. You should come and meet Toshiro."

Rukia led them to a school, where they found a small young man with white hair, next to a taller young man with orange hair. Toshiro and Ichigo introduced themselves, and Dante shook each of their hands. DINO spat at Ichigo, smacking his can of drink from his hand.

Ichigo started to snarl with anger, when a pretty red haired girl stepped between Ichigo and DINO.  
"Ichigo, give him a chance. He might be upset about something."  
She turned to DINO.  
"Hi, I'm Orihime. What's your name?"  
DINO roughly gripped Orihime's shoulder, roughly forcing her to her knees.  
"I don't give a fuck about your name, big-tits. Just give me a blowjo…"  
Before DINO could finish his obnoxious sentence, Ichigo, Toshiro, Rukia, Uryu, Chad, Tutsuki, Renji and Dante all slammed into him at once, punching him until he was one big bruise.

Ichigo then left his body, becoming a soul reaper, and kicked DINO into the wall. Dante then dragged DINO back to Ichigo, surprising Ichigo with the fact that he could see him. The two of them then roughly knelt DINO in front of Orihime, ordering him to apologise.  
"Fuck you. I don't apologise. I'm Dante."  
"No you're not."

Dante then slammed his fist into DINO, launching him into Kenpachi Zaraki, who had just appeared on the scene. With a brutal slash, Kenpachi slashed DINO in half.

Dante again felt himself begin to fade, and rapidly bade farewell to the students who had helped him.

Dante then found himself standing on the deck of a floating aircraft carrier, DINO lying beside him, miraculously in one piece again.  
"Why don't you just stay dead already?"


	7. Marvel Universe

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Harry Potter, Marvel Comics, Bayonetta, Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Star Wars.**

Dante and DINO stood on the SHIELD helicarrier, looking at the crowd of Avengers that were gathering around. Dante readied for a fight, while DINO started screaming swear words at the Avengers. Captain America moved right up to the swearing DINO, simply saying,  
"Shut up."  
Thor moved up to Dante, giving him a respectful nod.  
"The Son of Sparda. I am Thor Odinson. It is a pleasure to meet you."  
DINO moved in between them, attempting to shove Dante back, but failing to even budge him.  
"I'm Dante, you motherfucker!"  
Thor casually gripped DINO, forcing him straight onto his back, dropping his hammer on DINO's chest. DINO struggled, but was unable to move.  
"Fuck you! I'm Dante, how can you dare do this?"

Dante shook Thor's hand, before lifting Thor's hammer off DINO and kicking the reboot failure in the face, sending him across the deck. Thor looked mildly surprised as Dante handed the hammer back to him, thus making Dante one of the three people other than Thor who could actually lift the hammer, the other two being Odin and Limitless Strength Hulk.

"How do you lift the hammer, son of Sparda?"  
Dante shrugged. "I can do a lot of things that seem impossible."  
They turned as DINO charged at them, but was intercepted by a green giant, who kicked DINO straight off the deck and into the water.  
**"Hulk smash crappy reboot!"** Roared the giant.

Dante held out his hand, shaking hands with the savage Hulk, the two actually understanding and respecting each other. DINO started to climb back onto the deck, an unknown plot device having brought him up. Spiderman wrapped a web around DINO, pulling him onto the deck. Iron Man then fired a Unibeam into DINO, before Thor blasted DINO with lightning. Hulk then picked DINO up by the head, and started searching for a weapon to hit him with. Dante summoned the massive Sparda sword, handing it to the Hulk, who thanked him.

Hulk then tossed DINO into the air, smacking him with the flat of the sword with adequate force to launch him straight through the atmosphere.

Hulk handed the Sparda sword back to Dante, and Dante smiled as he regarded the Hulk's hit.  
"That's a home run if ever I saw one."

The area started to darken again, and Dante rapidly thanked the Avengers for their assistance and support.

Dante then found himself standing in a graveyard, DINO on the ground next to him.  
"What a pain."


	8. Bayonetta Universe

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Harry Potter, Marvel Comics, Bayonetta, Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Star Wars.**

Dante walked through the graveyard, until he found a dark haired woman and a large, swarthy man standing in front of an empty grave. Dante moved up to them, DINO close behind. Bayonetta moved over to Dante, standing so close, their chests were pressing together. The two smooth hunters then started dancing in a dance off style, neither outdoing the other.

DINO stepped up to Rodin, the fallen angel, but was punched in the face, the force sending him onto his back. DINO then started swinging his sword at Dante and Bayonetta, but the two easily dodged his clumsy attacks without even ceasing their dance off. Finally, both of them turned on DINO, the dance off being declared a draw. Dante and Bayonetta each slammed their right fist into DINO's face, launching him straight through a nearby crypt and out the other side.

Dante then introduced himself, as did Bayonetta, before the two of them turned to see DINO coming back. Dante and Bayonetta locked arms, and they both spun into the air, smacking DINO to Rodin, who casually punched the airborne DINO to the ground. Dante and Bayonetta then collected DINO, and the two of them flew higher into the sky.

Rodin watched, amused, as Dante activated his Devil Trigger, transforming into an imposing dark red and black devil, while Bayonetta released dozens of Infernal Demons, releasing her dragon, her giant raven, her giant millipede, her giant spider, and finally, the mighty Queen Sheba.

The two flung DINO into the air, each charging up for a massive scale attack. Bayonetta's demons all attacked at once, brutally ripping at DINO, while Dante powered up to the mighty Majin form, firing a huge dragon composed of red energy, before himself launching at DINO. There was an explosion in the air, and Dante and Bayonetta returned to the ground, reverting to their base forms.

Rodin casually held out his hand and caught the falling skeleton of DINO, expressing annoyance as it reduced to powder on contact.  
"Oh, well. Nothing a bit of open air won't fix. Good riddance to this loser."  
Dante shook hands with Rodin, while kissing Bayonetta on the cheek.  
"Thanks, both of you. I hope that prick is finally outta my life."  
"He's a skeleton. Of course he's dead."  
"I hope so, Bayonetta. I really hope so…"

Everything faded to dark, and Dante found himself in an old castle, looking at some very traditional pillars and arches. He then turned to see DINO standing next to him.  
"What are you, Kenny from South Park?!"


	9. Harry Potter Universe

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Harry Potter, Marvel Comics, Bayonetta, Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Star Wars.**

Dante turned to see an old man with a beard standing in front of him.  
"Dante Sparda. I am Professor Dumbledore, the headmaster here."  
Dante nodded. "Hey. What's up?"

DINO moved up to Dumbledore, glaring at him.  
"If you're a headmaster then this is a school, right? Where are the hot school girls? If you're the headmaster, they must be good at head too."  
DINO started to head off, when Dumbledore froze him.  
"You are not walking into the classrooms and propositioning the schoolgirls. Now, shut up."

Dante punched DINO in the face, looking up as a group of students walked into the corridor. A boy with glasses, dark hair and a lightning bolt scar on his forehead walked forward. DINO, now freed, gripped Harry by the head, pulling off his glasses.  
"Can't see me now, nerd."  
A girl with curly brown hair and rather large front teeth walked up to DINO, kicking him between the legs. The students gasped in shock as DINO showed no reaction. Surprising to all except Dante, who had seen that DINO had next to nothing in that region. DINO then advanced on Hermione.  
"Hey there, toothy. Anything besides food ever go in that mouth of yours?"  
Ron pointed his wand at DINO, firing a curse on him that made him start coughing up slugs.

Dumbledore then froze DINO again, as Harry reclaimed his glasses and Hermione moved back to Harry and Ron, looking very offended and rather upset.

Dante then drew his sword, stepping up to the frozen DINO.  
"Dumbledore, let this piece of shit go. He's mine."

DINO drew his own sword. "Another fight? Perfect. Everyone knows I'm more powerful than you. I'm gonna kick your old…"  
Dante gripped DINO, pulling him off balance. "You have no good qualities at all. You're ugly, you're weak, you're arrogant, you're sexist, you're disgusting, you're impotent…"

Dante continued speaking for several minutes, pouring his boiling rage out in the space of a few seconds at DINO.

DINO charged, attacking with his sword, screaming swear words as he charged. Dante stood like a batsman, ready to swing his sword at the right moment. When DINO was within range, Dante slammed his sword into DINO's, cutting the piece of scrap metal DINO called a sword in half, Dante's mighty demonic blade shearing straight through the sword and its wielder like paper.

Two halves of DINO's body flew against the nearest wall, and Dante drew his guns, blowing the two pieces into even smaller pieces. While he was still destroying every last trace that DINO had ever existed, everything went dark again, and he rapidly apologised to the students for DINO's behaviour.

Dante then stood back in the Devil May Cry agency, and was pleased to be home. He turned, and was relieved to see that DINO was not with him.  
"Oh, thank God."


	10. Back to Devil May Cry

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings, DC Comics, Harry Potter, Marvel Comics, Bayonetta, Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Star Wars.**

Dante sat in his chair, relaxing.  
"What an ordeal."  
He looked up to see Trish enter.  
"Hey, Dante, you heard about the reboot, right?"  
Dante helped himself to some pizza.  
"Heard about it and killed it."

Trish turned on the television, flipping it to the channel where there was a reporter discussing the fall of the reboot. Apparently, every single fictional character had come forth and complained that DINO had annoyed them, and then DINO's story had been scrapped due to what was essentially public outcry. A vote had taken place between all fictional characters, and Dante had won by one hundred percent of the votes.

Nero then stepped in, dragging a struggling DINO.  
"Want to do the honours, Dante?"  
Dante smirked, drawing his pistol. Dante charged devil power through the gun, shooting DINO. DINO blew into a million pieces, and the world instantly became a better place.  
"Jackpot."


End file.
